Mattox Live

It’s been almost a month since I blogged… well, that should read, “since I posted a blog entry.” I’ve written blog posts… they just never saw the light of day.

I’ve written several thought-filled blogs that delved deep. But because the were so deep, I felt they should sit a bit before I hit publish. Sometimes it’s better to keep your thoughts to yourself, and often you can’t realize that without a little time between your own words and their intended audience.

It never fails, every time I do that, though, something happens in this world that quickly makes those deep thoughts seem less important. Makes them seem trivial and self-serving. So I choose not to post the blog.

The fact is, I often feel like there are too many voices, all shouting for attention. None of them listening to the others shouting, instead choosing to just shout louder. Sometimes I think there aren’t enough voices… like maybe if some spoke up sooner, the shouting matches would have never begun in the first place.

I’m a listener. A thinker. An introvert. I don’t do conflict very well, finding it easier to sit back quietly analyzing the situation. I often fear my silence is taken as not caring, feeling almost bullied by society to share an opinion, when in reality I probably care too much.

I’m once again tempted to let this drop into drafts without posting it… but I also feel like I need to post it to get past this blogger-writers-block I have right now. I just feel this need to clarify that even though I’m not furiously writing about the bad things going on in our world today, it doesn’t mean I don’t care. It doesn’t mean I’m not sitting here behind my screen reading everyone else’s opinions and searching for the facts.

It just means I’m going to work hard to make my own corner of the world a little better through actions. I’m taking care of my own backyard. I’m chosing share a smile and an ear over a debate. I’m choosing listening over shouting.